"A really huge woman made it, and it looked okay on her."
She wasn't talking about me, was she? I'd read the comment on a PatternReview thread where another poster had posted a question asking if Vogue 1194, a knit dress pattern would work for someone with curves.
I quickly typed a response in return. My response may have contained the phrase "huge bitch". However, I took a deep breath, deleted my response before I sent it, and instead contacted the board moderator and asked that the post be removed.
Did I look terrible in the dress? Nothing I wear is going to make me look like a size 8, but "huge"? While the dress wasn't exactly bust-minimizing, I thought that it did make my waist look awfully small in comparison, and I liked that about it.
|A "really huge woman"|
I'm bringing up this incident now because I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about what I feel comfortable publishing on my blog and online in general. When you post something online, whether it's a picture of yourself or a sewing tutorial, most of the responses you get will likely be very positive and supportive. However, you always run the risk of someone saying something that's less than kind. Usually the comments aren't as rude as the one from the Vogue dress incident, but I've still read the following remarks and managed to take them personally:
- "Don't feel bad, I've seen this pattern made up by many women so far, and I don't think it's looked very flattering on anyone." (Said to someone else who was unhappy how a pattern turned out...when I loved my own version of it.)
- "That print doesn't do you any favors." (Posted in response to one of my reviews, again for a print dress that I was actually happy with.)
I wonder how many other curvy and plus sized sewists hesitate to blog or post reviews with pictures of themselves because they don't want to open themselves up to potentially hurtful comments. I know that I've gone through phases where I didn't post much online because I didn't want to be vulnerable. (On a side note, somehow in the blur of last month, I missed that the Curvy Sewing Collective set up a private flickr group. Ask to join if you want some body-snark-free curvy sewing inspiration!)
So, what do those of us in the online sewing community do about these things? Mean girls are going to be mean girls, whether they're 16 or 46. Has anyone come up with a good way to deal with these comments when they happen? Do others (besides BeaJay and myself) have a tendency to sometimes take random comments too personally?